Letters To George
I originally started this Blog to document the incredible adventure I had with my best friend George.
During the trip, I found it difficult to keep a daily practice of logging in and Blogging about our trip, mainly due to the poor internet coverage I had throughout the journey, and secondly we were busy, living in the moment ...
I have a lot to share about our journey, and will do so over time.
However, today I have decided to change direction of this Blog, and now use it a place I write 'Letters to George' ...
Losing my best friend, has been by far the hardest thing I have gone through in my life. His loss was sudden, unexpected and way too soon. These three things make the grieving experience a lot bigger and harder.
Today I had my first session with a Pet Grief Counsellor ... yes, you read it right, there is such a thing ... it was a positive experience and I felt it was helpful in guiding me through this unchartered territory ... something I took from it was the benefit of journalling, although I knew this it has reinforced it especially during a time like this, writing, downloading what is going on in my mind is best out. It was suggested even writing a letter to George ...
I was also told, grief likes movement, as in your body moving .. when I say grief likes it, I mean, it helps with grief ... moving your body, moves the grief.
After my session I took these invaluable suggestions seriously, I felt strong enough to take myself up to the hills where I often love to go and reflect ... it is here where I wrote my first letter to George ... here it is.
21 April, 2021
Letters to George
I don't know where they will lead but I have a strong feeling I need to do them. Today was my first walk alone, without you. It feels strange, you're not here but then I feel like you are.
I drove up to the hills where I like to come. We have come up here together , we often walk around Alfred Nichols Gardens, or sometimes I would go to the forest. I wouldn't go there as often because I couldn't take you in there. I wasn't really sure where I was going to end up, and just felt I'd go with the flow. As I walked I decided to go to Alfred Nichols Gardens. As I walked in, I felt there were a few too many people around. There also seemed some type of works going on, so I decided to turn around and head out and keep walking up the road.
I decided I will go to the forest instead.
As I approached the forest, I had the pull to keep walking further down the road. I don't know why I didn't go to the forest, as I love it in there, I felt like I was being guided to another spot for a reason, but I really had no idea.
I knew there was another garden a bit further down the road, maybe that's where I'm supposed to end up.
As I'm walking, I'm questioning whether you are with me, are you really here ?? People have said you are not gone and you will always be with me ... its a nice thought but its hard to believe ...
As I continue down the road, I pass a side street / road ... I couldn't help but notice the name ... George's Road ... HA
Did you lead me here to show me you actually ARE with me ?
I smiled, took a photo and continued down the path to wherever it is that I was going ...
I arrived at the gardens I decided would be the right place to stop and write my first letter to you. It looked peaceful and pretty.
As I walked in, I couldn't help but notice the name of these beautiful gardens ...
George Tindale Gardens.
I had never been here before, nor did I know the name.
People say when you lose someone you love dearly, they never really leave you ... I think today you have showed me that.
I've sat down on a bench under a beautiful autumn tree to write this first letter to you ...
I brought your collar with me and it's sitting in my lap as I write this letter.
Whilst writing this I also thought about the blog we started for the recent incredible trip we took.
We named it 'Curious George' perhaps I'll change the direction of this blog and it will become 'Letters to George' ...
I definitely need an outlet to write, as this is a way I deal with grief and my feelings ... I think you have helped guide me to a safe, creative way I can do this.
Here are some photos from today.
I love you Baby Boy, I miss you more than words can say.
Always Your Mama x
This was the end of the letter ...
I got up, and felt ready to leave and head back to my car which was a bit of a walk.
As I approached the entrance / exit of the gardens, I see a man about to walk in, with his dog ... a Chocolate Labrador.
I got shivers and naturally I walked up and asked if I could pat his dog.
This lovely man gave me his time, and his dog Lilly gave me her love.
I opened up to him about you and the events that lead me to the Gardens here today. As it was time to leave, my new friend (an elderly gentleman) politely offered me his number, that if I was ever in the area and cared to go for a walk with them to let him know.
It was only yesterday I questioned whether I will ever see happiness again throughout the current darkness I am feeling.
Today there was light, and there was happiness which consisted of kisses from a Labrador, probably via you.